do herpes really smell.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
