He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
