when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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