if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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