Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
