The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you would pick up someone in the library
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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