When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
