I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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