id be glad to
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize