So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
