i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
two words...techno handjob
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
