I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
