8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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