I didn't shave. On purpose
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
