Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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