I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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