think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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