i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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