If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
