he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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