Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
well most of my day revolves around power hour
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
