But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
