we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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