just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
