Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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