she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
