I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize