Kiss
Puke
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I understand Curling. That high.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
