Yo dont text me then not text me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
