please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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