Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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