No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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