Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
