I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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