there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
