i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
