"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
