You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Randomize
