he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
