and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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