I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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