im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
