Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
