I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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