i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
