I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
