Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
