I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I forget how to act sober
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
