Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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