I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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