We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
