please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
