They should really pass out barf bags in church
now i know why i became what i already was.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize