I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
