Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
