I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
