I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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